 | KatieSiamese
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| Meez Katie - a wonderful, loving petite feline... how I will miss you! | |||||||||||||||||
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| Today, Sunday, October 21, 2012 was 20 years in the making... give or take a few months. It started ´normal´ as normal can be - got ready for my Sunday morning outrigger practice, and left at 8am. The skies gave up their angry color and the sun came out - it felt good on my face as we paddled the Gorge. I tried to focus on my stroke, but my mind wandered...already I was feeling anxious...during the paddling debrief, my phone would occasionally ´tweet´ at me... ´Thinking of you´ - ´Sending you hugs´ - ´Are you okay?´ - messages from friends, oh, how I needed to receive these... it felt like a big blanket of support and love.
Towards the end of debrief, my paddling friends ´in the know´ sensed my uneasiness as tears were now readily swimming to the surface...I needed to return home. My ´normal´ had ended and now the day 20 years in the making was tugging at my sleeve. I returned home and found Katie where I had left her - tucked under my blankets. She looked at me and attempted a feeble meow ... her baby blue eyes half open. The food was still untouched ... Katie, the gourmet feline, one who would devour her sister´s food, steal a piece of cheese and scoop sardines out of the can...I knew it was the day. As I did for her sister Chelsea 2 years ago, I showered and dressed with my Sunday best; for Chelsea I walked the seawall of West Vancouver and gathered a summer floral mix - for Katie I walked the streets of James Bay and clipped here and there as I gathered a fall cornucopia of colors; I lit candles, put on our favourite jazz music and waited for the vet to arrive. Lo and behold - Katie comes sauntering in the living room, looking at me as her little body swayed back and forth. I picked her up and held her close - ´its your day today my lovely ..´ Her front paw grabbed my finger and curled around it as she tugged ever so gently...the same paw that would tickle my nose to wake me up to feed her...her baby blues looked up at me and melted my heart as they did 20 years ago... She then settled on her plush blanket and went back to sleep. The vet arrived and I gulped... I tried hard to hold it together, but the sobs came from the deepest part of my being...hard, took my breath away, it hurt so bad...I just wasn´t ready to turn the last chapter. 20 years in the making - can one only imagine the memories? The one who saw me through boyfriends - ´oh, and who is he?´ as she would sniff before giving her approval...the car rides from Vermont, to New York, Boston, Montreal, and oh, let´s not forget the plane ride from Montreal to Vancouver! Boxes - the dreaded boxes because that meant we were moving again! Will there be a window with lots of sunshine? Oh Katie - you were such a trooper. And you would always take care of your sister - cuddling her so she would feel secure. When Chelsea died at 18 years of age, you stopped eating! You were so sad and lost without her...but you fought back and stayed with me an additional 2 years. Thank you for those additional precious years... The vet has given you a sedative... I am holding you and slowly, your head falls into my hand. I gather you in my arms and take you outside for a slow walk around the garden...letting your nose pick up the fresh air one last time. The sobs rack my body again...this is so damn hard! Your eyes are closed now, your breathing is slow, to never see those baby blues again... I must do what needs to be done - I walk back into the living room and motion to the vet that I am ready. Am I? Who am I kidding? Is anyone ever ready to say goodbye forever? To let go? As I continue holding her, the vet slowly administers the final drug, and I feel Katie´s head fall forward. She is with me still - until the morning when I will take her to my center and care for her the way I did for her sister Chelsea. These were by far the best years, having them both accompany me along my life´s journey...the lessons learned are invaluable: the responsibility of keeping them safe, healthy, fed, cared for and oh so loved...unconditionally and always. Yes - this was a day 20 years in the making, and I would not trade any of it. Thank you both..I will always love you! Chelsea June 30, 1992 - July 12, 2010 Katie June 30, 1992 - October 21, 2012 | |||||||||||||||||
